Cindy

My life has taken so many correct turns that I just can't imagine what it would be like if I took too many wrong turns. I am thankful to God for guiding me thus far but not all of us have been that fortunate. To the right is my homeless friend Cindy, at least that's what she told me her name is. She sits on the side of Interstate 285 every afternoon. She is extremely dirty, has one leg amputated, harsh leathery skin and reaps of alcohol. I feel so sad for Cindy because she truly seems like a great and kind person who has just lost her way. She is on drugs, drinks alcohol and on top of that she is homeless.

I often stop and ask Cindy if I can take her to get cleaned up and put on some fresh clothes but she always says no she just wants some money. I give her a couple of dollars, talk to her until the light turns red and continue on with my perfect life. But I can never really get her out of my head.

I know you can't save the world but we can start with one person at a time. I have promised myself that I am at least going to take her some fresh clothes for the winter along with a little toiletry bag so she can clean herself up whenever she gets sober enough but I know she will probably sell it for drugs or alcohol. I wonder what her real story is. She is someone's daughter, sister, friend, niece just like I am; so what went terribly wrong with her?

I know the picture is a little blurry but you can probably imagine what she looks like just based on her description. Count your blessings people and stay on the straight and narrow path. Personal accomplishments are also achieved when we help others, that's making a difference!

"Pretty Black Girl"

When I was pregnant with Preston I use to take Trey out to dinner every Friday afternoon after work for a nice mommy son dinner. We started out at simple joints like McDonald's, Zaxby's, Chic fil-A and then moved up to nicer places like Outback, Applebee's and Longhorns. I know none of them are fancy but remember I was pregnant and carrying around a then busy 1 year old so I needed somewhere that was kid friendly and loud. But anyway this was our weekly ritual and it was really nice just spending quality time with him outside of the house. He gradually started to do much better with sitting quietly at dinner and not acting like a menace.

So a couple of days ago Preston and I got all dressed up and went out on a lunch date (which we do every week) and on this particular day an african american waitress walked over to our table and said "You are such a pretty black girl." To many of you reading this that would just seem like a nice compliment but to me it screams racism.

Most of my life I have been given the supposed compliment of "your a pretty black girl or your a pretty dark girl." People have even said you have pretty black skin and it makes your teeth look white.....what the he$$! My brothers and sisters, we have been exposed to so much racism, discrimination and labeling that we don't even realize that we are racist against our own people. This comment, to me at least, means that it is unusual to see a darker skinned black woman who is pretty. As if only light skin black woman are attractive and everyone else is just existing. I have even had a few relatives say crap like this and it really offends me. I think ALL black women are beautiful no matter what shade of black they are.

Have we gotten so caught up with the outside world of celebrity and superficial nonsense that we are teaching our children to believe that they are not born beautiful and perfect? My girlfriend Bee and I were talking the other day and she has clowns to tell her that her baby's hair is "negro hair" and another girlfriend told me her little girl who has long wavy hair literally down her back came home from school and said she wanted straight blonde hair like her white friend at school because her hair wasn't pretty.

What needs to happen to remove the negative sterotypes within our own community and our own people. Should we continue to live this life thinking that yakki hair is better than our own. Don't get me wrong people I will rock some extensions in a minute especially for a special occasion but I am comfortable in my shoes and I have no doubt that God made me beautiful.

Oh and don't worry I asked that waitress to have a seat and I schooled her on that dark skin and light skin bull crap. And she really did mean it like she said it that I was a "pretty BLACK girl."

When the rest of the world looks at us there is no light skin or dark skin, it's just BLACK! So why do we care about the degree of our own pigmentation?

Mistake!

If you continue to live people then you will continue to learn. I made a huge mistake this past Thursday by taking both of my sons to the pediatrician for shots at the same time. I really did not have much of a choice because I didn't have anyone else to assist me with a 2 year old and a 2 month old so I went in like a stallion and came out like a pony!

Trey started the visit off being Mr. Personality. He said hello to everyone and talked to all the nurses and his pediatrician Dr. Moore with a big smile. Preston just laid in my arms and enjoyed the comfort of his mother's warm bosom. Trey got his one shot first and of course cried but stopped pretty quickly after it was done. He received his stickers for being such a big boy and was happy after about a minute. Well then it was time for little Preston. Preston received 4 shots (2 in each leg) and he did not enjoy that one bit as you can imagine. Unfortunately or fortunately maybe, his big brother Trey was watching him get the shots and started crying all over again for Preston. I almost started crying because it was so sweet, he cried out "Preston don't cry, no bad shots mommy, hurt Preston." It was so sweet to see him sad for his brother. He really really loves Preston and has bonded with him so well since his birth. Of course after a couple of minutes they both stopped crying and we got dressed to leave.

So you ask where is the mistake in all this. Well the drama really started at the end of the visit. Dr. Moore has a beautiful big aquarium in the front lobby of the office and all the kids love to look at the colorful fish. My son Trey did not want to leave the colorful fish on this particular day. So I have Preston in my arms crying again from his 4 painful shots and Trey standing in front of the aquarium crying loudly "I want fish mommy, fish mommy, fish mommy PEASSSSE (translation please)!" Well of course I tried to calm him down and explain that we could not take the 10,000 galloon aquarium and fish with us but we would come back to see the fish another day but this did not work with a 2 year old. Meanwhile, the front desk staff is staring at him act a fool and show his butt; so they politely ask could they assist me with the kids and I say no I got it. Well Trey fell out on the ground crying, screaming and telling me "NO MOMMY!" I grabbed him firmly and said once again "lets go Trey" and he told me "no mommy want fish" well I told him "you want a fish and mommy wants a tranquilizer gun so let's go!"

He was dragged out on his knees kicking and screaming. So embarrassing people. I need some Xanax in my life or a full time nanny!

Wild Animal Safari Park

We had such a wonderful family filled weekend. We visited this zoo that is basically like Jurassic Park. You rent vans or buses, depending on the number of people in your party; that are painted like zebras with no windows just bars across them and you ride through the zoo feeding the animals oats and barley. The animals are very friendly and run right up to your car for a treat. A lot of the larger animals like the bulls and bison would stand directly in the middle of the road and you had to slightly tap on the gas to convince them to move. Of course the man eating carnivorous animals are locked away in a cage but all the others are roaming free on tons of acres of grass. There were lots of cows, bison, bulls, pigs, deer, zebras, gifaffe, ducks and anything else friendly. And of course, locked away were lions and tigers and bears oh my!

Trey had a blast and did much better than I thought he would. He loved feeding the animals but made sure he tossed the food away from the van so the animals didn't touch his precious hands or take a bite at them. Good old Preston did what he does best...sleep.

After the zoo we took the family out to the drive in to see a couple of movies. This was the first time I had been to a drive in movie since I was a little girl. It brought back so many memories.

Here are a couple of pictures from the zoo.

Preston

So I have been talking so much about Trey that I felt bad that I hadn't mentioned anything about Preston. Well, Preston Lajuan is just a delight! He is now 8 weeks old and a little over 12 pounds. He loves to eat as you can see from his weight and he is really discovering that he can make sounds and it is the cutest thing ever. I feel like my family is complete with both of our sons but would still love to adopt a little girl many years down the road. Of course my husband has already vetoed the idea of adoption especially a little girl, but we'll just have to keep working on him.

Preston looks just like Trey as a baby almost identical, one is just a little lighter than the other. Both with my eyes and daddy's nose. Everything else is wonderful equal mesh of daddy and mommy. My head, daddy's feet, my toes, daddy's fingers........ you get the picture.

Here are a few pictures of my baby. One is Rated R so make sure the kids are not watching.

Racism

So if you think racism does not still exist check this out:

http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=132553%20

Trey's 2nd Birthday!

Wow!

Trey had such a wonderful 2nd birthday. His party was a huge success with a great turn out. The kids had a blast and many cried because they did not want to leave. There were lots of fun activities for them to do and plenty of food. They enjoyed the 4-in-1 combo moonwalk, 5 minute monster truck rides, the basketball goal, tee-ball set, golf set, activity and color time and then of course singing happy birthday and ravishing the cupcakes.

I am so pleased with having the party at our home but with the amount of people, time and effort it took to prepare I will probably never do it again. The boys will both have big parties for years to come I will just have to hire someone else do all the work. I am beyond exhausted but so happy and blessed to have my 2 year old.

Here are a couple of pictures of Trey on his birthday Friday, his party on Saturday and his birthday lunch on Sunday. At the lunch was his Godmother Auntie Kia, Nanna, Grandpa, Mommy, Daddy and Preston. Yes, he celebrated all weekend long!

Nothing

I am so tired today from running around trying to prepare for Trey's birthday party this weekend. It is so exhausting wrestling with a 2 year old and keeping up with the demands of a newborn. Therefore, I have nothing to give today. Stay tuned for fun filled drama, excitement and comedy after the birthday party.

Poo Poo

Just on a quick little side note Trey is doing a great job of going to the potty to poo poo. He does not care one bit at all about the pee pee part but he does not want to poo poo in his diaper anymore and if he does have an accident he needs it removed immediately.

I am sure some of you parents of toddlers can understand my excitement in this post.

That's it!

Don't Mess With My Milk!

So Trey has been attending a wonderful private daycare since he was 5 months old. I have never had a problem with his school and I am very impressed with their curriculum especially since its essentially a daycare (but they don't like for you to call it daycare). They have lesson plans for the entire month and each parent is given a copy of it with little homework assignments from time to time. They really do and great job at tailoring learning for each age group, not to mention he has been learning sign language since he was about 10 months old. Now, he only knows maybe 10 simple signs or commands but that is still wonderful for a 2 year old to be learning sign language who doesn't have the need to really learn it. Anyway, I bragged about the school because I am about to talk about them.

I know I am his mother which makes me a little biased but I must say that Trey is a very friendly little boy with very little drama. He is a little shy with strangers upfront and pretends to be quiet until he gets to know you or feels more comfortable with you. All of his friends at school know and love to play with him. And everyone knows his name at school. Everyone from the cook in the kitchen to the security guard outside.

Well, Trey was sitting at the table with his classmates eating lunch. His friend proceeded to take his milk and drink it. Why did this little boy do that. Trey stood up, started shaking (like Florida from Good Times when she said "damn damn damn" and bit the crap out of his friend. He told him "no my milk!" Trey was obviously very upset because he has never bit anyone and is pretty mild mannered for a 2 year old. So when I walk into school to pick him up the principal (director) tells me she needs to talk to me. Um why am I being called in for a parent teacher meeting for my 2 year old people. She discusses what happened at school and would like for me to talk to Trey about problem solving and biting. What the h@#$? Then she asked me to sign a write up (incident report) for his file. I read the incident report and begun to write a note on it. I began writing that I felt the child that "stole" my son's milk should also be counseled on the importance of not taking things and that as a result bad things could happen to him. This behavior could turn into something worse in the future if nothing is done about it.

Of course the director is mad at me.............

The Chinese Restaurant Lady

Okay, so as many of you may or may not know my son Trey's 2 year birthday is Friday. We are planning a party for him this weekend and I am attempting to prepare for it. So the party idea started out very small with thinking we would invite a few folks over for cake and dinner after church on Saturday along with my folks but now we're up to maybe 40-50 people. I am not sure how it happened but it is definitely my doing because my husband hasn't invited anyone.

But anyway, I am preparing a menu for the party and of course with 40 some folks I am not going to do just hot dogs and hamburgers. I am going to grill chicken, steam veggies etc. So I stopped at the Chinese restaurant today to inquire about a pan of fried rice. My thought is that buying some simple rice would save me a little time and work in the kitchen and the rice would serve as somewhat of a major dish.

Well this chick precedes to whip out a calculator to discuss prices with me. To give you a visual of how this situation went imagine the movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman by Tyler Perry. The scene in particular is the one where Madea is adding up all the money she feels Mr. Bad A$$ owes Kimberly Elise after all the years of marriage. So I was very clear in saying I wanted a pan (large pan) of fried rice with no meat, no eggs and no onions. She said "no problem, no problem." Well then how much is it going to be? She says 'well you know a pint of rice cost ~$2.00 and it only feeds about one person and a dinner serving of rice is ~$4.85(the aluminum rice they serve for dinner items) and only serves 2 people.' Yes sweetie I understand all of that but how much is a large pan of fried rice that will feed close to 30-40 people. This chick got real quiet and put on her reading glasses and went crazy on the calculator. She hit about 20 buttons in 10 seconds then hit the addition key 30 times and said "It's going to be $84.65." What the hell! All I want is rice lady not a box of chicken wings with egg rolls. I looked at this woman started laughing and said "are you serious?" She of course said yes and proceeded to explain to me that rice cost $80. I politely said no thank you I can buy a rice village for that price and walked toward the door. She yellled out for me to wait and asked if I would like to talk to the manager maybe he would give me a discount.

Later chinese lady!

After Children

The most amazing gift God could ever give to a woman is the ability to be a mother or at least in my eyes. I have been blessed twice with this opportunity but the aftermath of your body image is something else. I gained a substantial amount of weight with both of my pregnancies. The first 47 pounds and the second pregnancy 45 pounds. Well as many woman know it is not that easy to get that much weight off! I have worked more diligently this time and I must say in 6 weeks I have lost an astonishing 40 pounds! How did I do this? A simple high protein, low carbohydrate diet. This diet is very hard for those of you love breads, pastas, rice and anything else that has lots of carbs. None of those items are my favorites so its not that hard for me. I only eat (most of the time) lean meats, fresh fruits and fresh veggies. Absolutely nothing out of a can and no cake people!

But I didn't talk about my weight lose for that reason. People let me tell you, when I look in the mirror I keep searching for myself 12 years ago. When I was 21 years old I was fine as heck! My abs were tight, my thighs and hips were perfectly proportioned and my butt was nice and firm. Okay I know too much information but things have completely changed now. Don't get me wrong I look amazing in my clothes and you would never be able to tell that I had children.

So what am I doing to change this? Well I tried good old Taebo. It works your butt off and gets you super toned. Let's do a recap of my first session of Taebo. I took Trey to daycare, nursed Preston and put him down for a nap then proceeded to put on my workout clothes. I stretched like anyone would who is about to workout and started the DVD. I felt so wonderful about excercising and getting fit again. The DVD started and I was amped up, counting with the crew and clapping along. Fifteen minutes later I was sweating like a pig and Billy Banks said "okay good warm up now lets get started!" What the ...... I proceeded to sit on the sofa and watched the next 30 minutes of video with a Powerade. I was done! Maybe I will try step aerobics...LOL!

Re-creation

So already my wonderful friend B.G. has blasted me for not giving she and many of my friends from Houston the opportunity to call me Tera. The reason is re-creation. I started going by my real name at age 23 when I started nursing school. I had always gone by Tera even when I started undergraduate at Paine College. Tera seemed more black (yes ethnic) to me so it was the name that I felt most comfortable being called but as I got older I felt like I needed to grow up and let the "fight the power" attitude go or at least calm it down a little. I am not sure why I allowed myself to have two different idenitities but I really did. With school, white america, teachers, classmates etc I felt like I was Latanya but with my family and black friends I felt like Tera. But my parents have always called me Tera and it felt more personal which is why I then only allowed my friends to call me that and not anyone else.

Hopefully this won't cause a big debate on whether I am racist or not because I am not. I grew up in a predominantly white small town in South GA and went to school with mostly white kids. However, I do understand that racism existed and still does exist. I remember there were days when we couldn't go outside because there was a Klu Klux Klan parade in downtown Ludowici (the town my mom was raised in). Yes people this was in the late 70's. Although these acts do not occur anymore the mental act of racism still exist and I see it all the time.

So in closing I wanted to grow up, evolve and get in touch with my professional side which is why I started introducing myself as Latanya to ALL people regardless of color or sex. But truly I am the same person whether you call me Tera or Latanya.

I guess the adjective to describe me would be "spicy." I am both nice and nicety all at the same time if you know what I mean! Basically Tera or Latanya will get with yo A$$ if she has too!

I guess we'll start here

Hi Everyone!

Well all my friends are blogging so I thought I would join them. I have so much to talk about and it seems no one to listen to me (no one meaning my husband Paul). I have probably talked him to death and he claims he doesn't hear as well anymore....whatever dude! Maybe its due to all that booty shaking music he listened to while growing up in Florida. Has anyone ever noticed how loud Uncle Luke talks. I am sure its from all that loud club music; shake whatcha mama gave ya........!

But for anyone who doesn't know me that well I guess I will give you a little details about me and my life. I am 32 years old, married to the man of my dreams for almost 7 years. We have 2 beautiful little boys Paul III (2 years old) and Preston (7 weeks). I am the only daughter of the best parents in the world and my 2 brothers are pretty fabulous too. Well one of them is crazy and the other is stable, but we'll talk about that later on. My nickname is Tera and it is the name my family and friends call me most. So for everyone who calls me Latanya don't start calling me Tera because I probably wouldn't respond. I have programmed my brain to respond to certain names by certain folk (I know it sounds crazy but its true). Most people associate voices with faces and names so things would get confusing.

Anyway, I will try to post a blog at least every other day until I return to work from maternity leave which will be around late October.

Peace and blessings from the most high!