Conversation

This is a different kind of post for me but it evolves around a conversation I had with my mom. We were talking about her cousin (male) who I have always known as my uncle. He is a really wonderful guy who is a physician and married a wonderful woman who is also a physician. They have been married for almost 20 years and matriculated through school together, have 3 beautiful teenage kids and live a respectable life. This is one of the couples I have respected all my life and kind of reminded me of the Cosby's. Well, how life throws you curve balls....... My aunt and uncle are now going through a divorce. After almost 20 years all the magic apparently started to fade away. My uncle started having an affair with one of his work colleagues. This relationship apparently started years ago without anyones knowledge. She is also a physician who is not married, no children and 10 years younger. She is caucasian and I know this shouldn't matter but it makes the wound sting a little more. They two of them are in love, are planning to get married and have children together. WOW!

The main reason I really posted this is to get some other perspectives from at home moms. My aunt has been a stay at home mom for 15 years. She stopped working as a request from her husband (of course she had no objection about it either) to raise their children and keep their home/school balance smooth. She has been an excellent stay at home mother and the kids have always gone to great private schools. She has been responsible of taking care of their home, finances, and whatever else comes with being a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, she gave up her career for this life. Meaning she hasn't worked in years and wasn't smart enough to think that she needed to still invest in her longterm future after the kids grow up. She has no retirement account and the only money she has is HIS money.

The divorce is almost final and she did however get the house, two cars and half of the savings (which was only $10K not a lot of money people). But guess what? She can't afford the house. It's less than 5 years old, with 5 bedrooms and 4 baths and a whopping mortage of $3K. How does she afford that? She is selling the house, in a bad economy mind you. Selling one of the vehicles and placing the children in public school. She was not awarded alimony so the only income she will receive is for the kids child support. This amount will only cover their living arrangments, school clothes, kids cost etc.

So to all my at home moms. Are you making sure you are being compensated on your JOB as an at home mom? When I was out with Trey for 6 months I transferred money every month into my retirement account. Where did the money come from PAUL'S CHECK translation OUR CHECK. Being a stay at home mom is truly a job and should not be taken lightly.

Don't get me wrong I do believe that love can last a lifetime but sometimes spouses are reading different books. When Paul and I met it was love at first sight. No second guesses and no big obstacles have come our way but I am no fool. Love does not always last.............................