Losing loved ones

My cousin who is also one of my best friends in the whole world lost her mother on Friday unexpectedly. I was at work when I heard the news and I am still numb about the whole ordeal. Its probably good that I heard the news at work because I wasn't able to fall apart and have a nervous breakdown. I was tearful and calm but my main focus was getting the heck out of there and being with my cousin. I left work picked up the kids and got packed as fast as I could. My brother and sister in law, who are truly a Godsend, kept the kids so that I could leave for home. Paul was on call Saturday morning and had tickets for the SEC championship game that afternoon so he was too busy to go with me or keep the kids. The drive there was very emotional as I listened to gospel and thought about the times I spent with my aunt growing up. My cousin and I are 3 weeks apart in age and we did everything together. We started preschool together, went to the same college and graduate school (nursing for me and dentistry for her) together. We also got married together, had our children together and moved to Atlanta together. The only time we were ever separated was when I moved to Houston. It was so painful seeing her hurting and feeling empty. It was mentally overwhelming watching her and her sister plan their mothers funeral. I still sometimes feel like I am the same little girl from Jesup and that no one I love is suppose to die, but that's just not the way life is.

I just got back tonight and I am doing better but nervous about seeing her in that casket at the funeral this weekend. Luckily, Paul's dad arrived here with us today and I won't have to worry about taking the kids and being overwhelmed with them. He will also take them to school and pick them up which will make my load this week much lighter. When I get back home to south GA I should be able to focus on helping my cousin and keeping her four kids busy and smiling despite the grave circumstances.

Please keep her family in your prayers!